Your environment is ruining your life

I live in what is considered a 3rd-world country.

In Guatemala, most people fight for their lives daily, and many are miserable.

It’s effortless to fall into this belief system. Giving in to the hopelessness and the constant narrative that says we are doomed is easy. These claims are well founded, of course. There ARE plenty of bad things happening here all the time: crime, corruption, safety issues, misogyny, etcetera. This year we have elections, and it’s not looking too good.

And when the news and your peers are always discussing these issues, it’s easy to believe that’s all there is. And when your peers are all coping with it through alcohol, drugs, and other mindless behaviors, it’s easy to think that’s the only way to do it.

It’s hard to find a different culture here: I used to imagine building a better world, but the only way that seemed possible was through putting up a fight: calling out everything going wrong, complaining about all the people doing wrong, demanding better living conditions.

Sure. Building through fighting and complaining made sense when I was 16 and angry.

But with time, it made less and less sense. It’s not that there weren’t reasons to be angry.

It’s just that being angry and fighting didn’t seem to be doing anything.

And sitting in rooms full of people who highlighted everything going wrong was draining.

Now

I’ve had experiences recently that showed me how different my outlook on all these things is now. And, consequently, how different my experiences are.

I’m constantly building projects that I believe have the power to change things for others directly. As a result, I’m happy (overall), and I have big hopes for the future of society because I’m surrounded by other people who are also building projects that can change others’ lives.

While I still recognize all the political and social issues in this country, I also see and recognize all the wonderful projects that are changing this place for the better. People are changing things, not through destruction, but through building. I see all those creating opportunities for others, seeking sustainability, and seeing what should be better - and actively improving it.

Now, I can see these opportunities for improvement (either in myself, my communities, or my spaces) and take them. But it wasn’t always like this.

The Change

I got to thinking about what changed in me to cause this shift. And I realized that changes in my external experience had shaped my internal condition, maybe even more than I imagined.

When I was surrounded by people who saw misery everywhere, so did I.
When I was surrounded by people who saw opportunity everywhere, so did I.

When I was in places and communities that saw fighting as the solution, so did I.
When I was in places and communities that saw building as the solution, so did I.

When my friends coped in toxic or harmful ways, so did I.
When my friends focused on healing themselves and others, so did I.

When there was despair around me, there was despair in me.
When there was hope around me, hope started to grow in me.

Slowly, through changing your environment, you get to the point where you think, “Huh, maybe we’re not all doomed after all. Maybe I can do something to change the things I don’t like.”

Why is this so important?

Our beliefs shape our actions and emotional state, which define our life. They are the glasses which we see the world through. And they can either hurt or help us.

If we never consciously question them, the odds of living with an outdated and hurtful belief system are VERY high, especially if you live where the overall culture teaches you these limiting beliefs.

One way to start transforming your beliefs is to change your environment.

This environment change exposes you to different beliefs and possibilities, and it helps your brain normalize them. It makes you think, “Oh yeah, this makes more sense!”

However, if you stay in the same environment you’ve always been in, you get stuck.

There are no new ideas, no possibility of getting to know different, more abundant options. Instead, you hear the same discourse repeatedly, and you program it even deeper into your subconscious. You get to repeat the same patterns that your parents, their parents, and their parents have exhibited.

Worst of all, you never get to meet your true potential.

If this sounds like hell to you, this is your sign to change something.

Three crucial environments to change

Now, I’m not necessarily saying, “Move across the globe! Cut everybody off!”

That works for some people, sure. But there are massive changes you can make without having to turn your life upside down. That is what I did. I still live in the same 3rd world country. But the eyes through which I see it have become radically different.

These are the three most significant changes you can make:

Your phone

You NEED to change your content consumption.

How you use your phone is one of the most manageable changes to make, and it’s been one of the most impactful for me.

Unfollow the news. Unfollow or mute the people who are always screaming about how things are changing for the worst.

You can always find people who believe this. But the opposite is also true: you can always find people who believe there is hope and that things can improve, more so, that we can improve them.

It’s time to let go of every type of content that keeps drilling hopelessness and mindless distraction into your brain. Replace it with people building the kinds of projects you want to make. Replace it with inspiring humans doing inspiring things.

Some of you may say, “Blocking out everything happening in the world is ignorant and delusional!” That’s what I thought before doing it. Now, I realize they’re just distractions. They keep you in survival mode, waiting for the worst.

And yeah, it could be a bit delusional. But hey, sometimes a certain level of seeming delusion is necessary to keep us sane and let us imagine a better world.

Your social circles

I don’t like the “cut everyone off and go monk mode” advice.

I don’t think the friends you love deserve your love any less, even if they are still stuck in these limiting beliefs and patterns. You can keep loving all your friends, just as they are.

But you can also make more friends. You can build friendships that motivate and inspire you, not just entertain you. You can seek people with similar interests: artists, entrepreneurs, or whoever feels aligned with your values and goals.

You can find these people offline or online. It’s never been easier to connect with others. And creating these connections will change your life. I have made friends from Vietnam, Estonia, Venezuela, India, and more. And it’s opened my mind to millions of possibilities for what I want to do.

Your academic or professional spaces

If you’re surrounded by people and structures that reinforce limiting beliefs and behaviors at your school or job, guess what? It will be tough to break free from those yourself, especially if you spend most of your day in these places.

Look at it like this: if you have a full-time job, that’s 33% of your life. And another 33% is probably (hopefully) spent asleep. So that means you only have 33% of “free” time to change or control. _{(I find a lot of flaws in this system in the first place, but that’s a topic for another time.)}

So if the place where you’re spending 33% of your total life, and around half of your waking hours, is filled with negativity… it’s hard to escape that cycle.

I understand that, for many, this isn’t a change you can immediately make. But it’s worth asking: could you apply for a different job with better culture? Could you start freelancing on the side so you can quit your job? Could you change schools? Could you find a way to block out what those people are trying to feed you?

These are all ways to protect your mind from harmful limiting beliefs.

2mm shifts

I heard a story once about Tony Robbin’s conversation with a plastic surgeon.

The plastic surgeon explained that when changing someone’s face structure, no change should be larger than 2 millimeters. 2mm changes are enough to change someone’s appearance without making them seem forced or exaggerated.

Then, Tony said that all of life is like that. The tiniest changes make the most significant differences.

So sure, maybe you can’t quit your job today. But perhaps you can unfollow every negative news outlet you follow. Maybe you can’t find a whole new friend group right now. But perhaps you can text that friend who always seems to be doing extraordinary things and ask them to have lunch next week.

If changing everything feels too much, find a 2mm shift you can make in your environment. And then find another one. And another one.

Tiny shift by tiny shift, you’ll look back and realize your life’s entirely different.

I hope the rest of your week feels like finding a cool new outfit, like having fresh food at the market, like getting love on an art piece you’ve poured your entire heart into.

Until next Wednesday!

-Vale, The Friendly Artist