The Headache Problem

Every time I get a headache, I have a big flaw: I forget I can do something about it.

Eventually, I'll probably conclude that a 600mg ibuprofen will fix it, but it's been hours of feeling like this by then.

However, you should see me when someone else has a headache!

I'll recommend anything from

• mint tea

• stretches

• sleeping more

• drinking water

• drinking a coke

• a neck massage

• acupressure points

• lavender oil in the temples

• a warm towel on the forehead

• breathing and tapping exercises

• …and a 600mg ibuprofen

Now, there's a reason why I know so many possible remedies for a headache. And I probably know a few more I forgot to put down. I've suffered from them for a long time, sometimes more frequently than others. And all of the above tools and methods have been things that others have taught that have helped me.

I've tested them, know they can work, and know they've worked specifically for me.

But when I get a headache? It's like they all vanish. All I know is I'm in pain, and it sucks. No consideration about doing anything about it comes to me, at least not on its own.

And what I generally get from others when I get input is, "Have you had any medicine yet?" And I'll say, "No, I haven't!" And get some ibuprofen.

Where else do you have this problem?

After realizing this pattern, I realized this is a general issue for me (and I've seen many friends experience it too.)

They'll face a problem without knowing what to do or how to solve it. But if a friend stands before them and says they have the same problem, they'll see every step toward the solution.

People do this with relationships, business, art, and headaches. I have done it with all of the above.

I've tried to solve it on my own unsuccessfully many times.

One of the funniest solutions that seemed like it would work with headaches was writing a list of the possible solutions for a headache. Sounds reasonable enough, right? Except I forget to check the list, so we're back at square one.

The best possible solution I've found so far is other people.

Now, I know that some people hate depending on other people. But as I grow up, I realize how crucial it is to do it for big and small things. Other's eyes can see things we can't and bring them to our attention.

This applies to problems we may not be aware of, solutions we may not be aware of, and blessings we may unconsciously ignore.

Can humans live with little contact with others? Well, yes.

But your brain will hate it, your mental health will decline, and you'll be blind to solutions that may be sitting right in front of you.

This problem is one of the reasons why therapy, accountability groups, mentors, and conversations with friends can all be profoundly transformative.

Often, it's about something other than the accreditations someone has or the theory they know. It's just about having someone else's eyes on your problems, who can see them from the outside and show you what they see. It's about the perspective shift someone else can offer you.

You've probably had experiences in which a problem seems enormous. When you talk about it to someone else, they give you an almost immediate solution you hadn't ever considered.

And that's why intentionally building different support networks is essential.

Because I have some friends I'll take relationship advice from, but I'd never listen to them regarding running my business. And there are people I'd listen to talk about business, but I won't listen to their opinions on my art. And there are people whose art advice has changed my life, but I'd never ask them about relationships.

You gain this when you connect with many people: different perspectives and solutions to life, all with the power to show you something you hadn't considered yet, all with the ability to change your life.

My current headache I don't know what to do about:

Considering all of the above, let me ask you, beautiful people, for advice on something I feel mostly blind in:

I want to sell more books.

I want more people to know it exists and to choose to buy it. I want to promote it on different channels.

There are two issues I've identified so far:

1. It's TERRIFYING. Whenever I actively try to promote it, I get dizzy and lightheaded. I mentioned it today in a room of maybe 25 people, and I was shaking and felt my voice crack, even though I was not sad, and I'm generally not scared of public speaking. Sooo it's been effortless to avoid doing it.

2. I don't know what to do except read poems on TikToks and Reels. Some v cool friends told me to talk about the writing/publication process, but I don't know which parts could interest others.

There's the part of marketing it myself, and there's the part of getting exposure through other channels (the first thing that comes to mind is going on someone's podcast or radio or something like that), which I have no idea how I'd do.

So my call to you is: do you have any ideas about how I can promote the book? Any piece of content I should create? Anyone I should meet or talk to?

I'm more than open to listening to every suggestion I get as a reply to this email, and I'd love to know what you think.

Let me know and if you wanna buy my book you can do it here!

I hope you enjoyed this edition of The Friendly Artist and I hope your week feels like waking up and not feeling sleepy, feeling like you’re strong enough to hold yourself, and like looking, really looking, at a flower.

Until next week!

-Vale, The Friendly Artist