The Art of Showing Up

Let's talk about motivation.

It's a tricky subject, isn't it? It can be source of generation and creation. But its destructive powers are stronger than we recognize.

It's not a dependable emotion, much less an effective strategy.

Has this ever happened to you?

You have an idea for something you want to improve in your life: say you want to start journaling, or exercising, or you want to start a business. You get really excited about it, and you start.

Day 1 is always great! You're motivated, ready, and everything is possible! How is it going by day 10? Are you slacking a little already? How about day 30, or 40? Do you even remember your goal by day 100?

It always starts failing in the same way: you decide to skip the habit once or twice. It's fine, you'll pick it back up. 

And then you don't.

Starting again is much harder: motivation is gone.

Suddenly, it seems like such a big battle, that it's easier to ignore it. Not even think about it. Keep having the same life you had before trying.

Except you don't like that one either, do you?

If you feel a little guilty reading this, don't worry.

So do I as I write it.

Listen, I'm here to be honest, not perfect. 

So why am I bringing this up? Well, I'm writing about it in an attempt to remind myself what actually works. Because lately, I haven't been my most motivated or disciplined self.

Life gets busy. You get caught up in the day to day. Personally, I tend to take on more than I can manage (maybe I'll write about that once I figure it out.) And suddenly, the last priority on your to-do list is yourself. You end up losing trust in yourself. And then, negative feelings and self talk start.

If you're not careful, you end up in a slump. And as Dr. Seuss says in Oh, the places you'll go!, "Un-slumping yourself is not easily done."

I write this as I sit at the edge of falling in a Slump.

The problem

Picture this: I'm writing this as I sit on a very crowded bed, in a very messy room. There are clothes everywhere: the floor, the desk, the bed. There's couple of empty plates in my nightstand, bed hasn't been made in weeks. I have a mental to-do list longer than life. This is the song blasting in my computer (no really, I didn't plan it, but it fits): 

And honestly, I do feel a little like a mess. I couldn't go to work today because I'm a little sick. I don't feel like doing anything at all, much less trying to clean my room and organize my life. I had been very good at keeping up with those things for most of this year, but lately it's been tough. I don't particularly feel like sending out this newsletter.

Remember what I said earlier, about losing trust in yourself?

That's a result from not following through on your self-promises. And that's a little of what I've been feeling lately. It's what really kills us when we depend on motivation. 

When we decide to start a habit, or project, and then leave it hanging, it means we have failed our commitment to ourselves. And then the doubts come: can I actually accomplish this big goal, if I can't even keep my word for a week or two?

So, what am I doing to keep myself from falling into a Slump?

And more importantly, what does any of this this have to do with motivation?

There's one way out of this, and only one: not relying on motivation, but on commitment. It's so simple, yet so hard. 

So much of success in any context comes down to just showing up when we don't feel like it. Again, I'm not trying to pretend like this is easy. But it is simple. If you can master this, you prove three things to yourself:

1. You are no longer a slave to your emotions.

2. You can trust yourself, because you kept your word.

3. You start building a new identity: you're someone who shows up.

This is worth more than succeeding in the actual goal is. Because if this is true about you, any goal is achievable.

Now, this is probably not the first time you hear this. It's not the first time I think about it, either. This is something I consciously know. Knowing things is easy. Have you heard the phrase "knowledge is power"? 

Well, it's not true. Knowledge is potential power.

Action is the only true power.

This email, for me, is action. 

I can't say I will clean my room today, or answer all my text messages, or be super productive. It's almost 5p.m. and odds are, I won't. But I wrote this email, and sent it.

This is me keeping my word, this is me showing up: newsletter goes out on Wednesdays.

I saw this TikTok today that said something relevant about this motivation thing. 

This girl said that if she makes decisions based on what she feels like doing, she wouldn't do anything good. She makes decisions based on what future her, ideal her, would choose. That's how you move closer to the person you want to become.

The boring truth is that success comes down to small, potentially boring actions done consistently over long periods.

This may not be my best newsletter ever. (I hope it's not, actually! We're just starting out.)

But what matters is I wrote it. My future self is proud already. Today, I mastered the Art of Showing Up to write this newsletter. I built a little bit of trust in myself, which, believe me, I've been needing.

What's the point?

Sure, most of my to-do list is probably not getting done, but this is. I'm still sitting in my messy room, with messy ideas of everything I should/could be doing.

The real magic isn't in me doing this task. It's that the ounce of self-trust I gained by writing this will carry me on to the next task on my to-do list.

And that, to the next. And so on and so forth.

I trust I'll be out of this messy period soon. And I promise to tell y'all about it when it happens. But the mental clarity from which I say it didn't exist 35 minutes ago, when I first sat down to write this. 

I say it with the clarity and certainty of someone who, through action, remembered she's able to show up. This is not coming from from the fragile hope of a motivated person.

This is what carries us out of a slump, and into success: showing up. Taking action. Especially when we don't feel like it. These are the defining days.

I hope when you read this, you're in a less messy position than the one I'm in right now. 

But if you are where I'm at, take this as a reminder: you can always take a small action to build a little trust in yourself.

And then, you can take another small step.

If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, the road to heaven is paved by small, consistent actions. 

A little challenge for you:

What 5-20 minute action could you take right now to build trust in yourself? Do it now. And do it again tomorrow. One day at a time, you'll get to where you want to go.

Do it, and email me back what it was (if you want! I'd love to hear about it.)

I believe in you. Now go prove to yourself that you are worth believing in.

See you next Wednesday!

-Vale, The Friendly Artist.

Art rec of the week:

Beautiful Italian song, which seemed relevant to today's topic: my favorite line translates to "tomorrow, a new immensity will begin."

I trust it will.