Myyyy birthday poem

Today is my birthday.

I’m turning 23! It’s also my golden birthday. I’m turning 23, March 23, 2023.

I’m excited, and terrified, and sad (because I loved my 22nd year of life, I kinda don’t want it to be over).

22 by Taylor Swift fades in the background

I could write a “23 things I learned before turning 23” kind of post. Or I could do what feels most authentic, and give you a poem.

Now, I must say my poetry is slightly rusty. Over the past few months, I haven’t written as many poems as I used to last year. I’ve been busy writing other sorts of things (like this newsletter).

And my poetry sharing skills are even rustier. The last time I posted a poem to the internet was over 6 months ago.

But poetry still feels like the most authentic way to share everything that is currently going through my mind. There’s something about 23 that feels terrifying: it sounds like a real adult age for some reason. (And most of the time, I don’t feel like a real adult.) Maybe it’s just that my astrology loving self knows that this is my 12th house protection year and that’s scary on its own.

I wrote this a few weeks ago, when I was thinking about it, scared of what I might lose and the challenges I might face in the upcoming 12 months.

So, without further ado, here’s my birthday poem:

When days are hard,

I remind myself

That my arms and legs

Can turn into scaffolding for my heard

Whenever my back isn’t strong enough to carry it.

I remind myself

My arms are long enough

to wrap around most of my ribcage

And hold myself, even when no one else will.

I remind myself

That I’m here

To hold me up,

Or to keep me company as I melt on the floor.

I remind myself

that I can dance,

that I can scream,

that every battle I have fought

I’ve come out alive of.

And even when I feel weak,

even when I feel broken

and weird and unlovable

and too messy to be deserving of kindness,

I’m here to see me

And I can tell myself what I need to hear.

I remind myself

Nobody knows me like I do

And I like it like that.

I’d be happy to hear your thoughts on this, if you wanna hit reply on this email and tell me anything I’d love to chat.

And if you’re wondering “where’s that book you were supposed to publish?” I’d also love to take this chance to tell you that I’m finally taking the next steps in that process. So expect updates on that soon 👀 

I hope the rest of your week feels like drinking hot chocolate, like waking up and realizing you can go back to sleep, like planning a party with all your favorite people in it.

Until next Wednesday!

-Vale, The Friendly Artist (now 23)