Don't try to pick a career. Do this instead.

Remember being 15, 16, 17? Every time you’d talk to an adult, the dreaded question was sure to come: “what do you wanna study in college?”

This question is how they got you to think about your career for the first time. And the tricky thing is, answering this question is also why most people end up dissatisfied with their professional lives.

We’re also told different ways to think about it:

• “Go study abroad!”

• “Pick something you love!”

• “Pick something that pays well!”

What if I told you all of those can lead to unhappiness?

I found the right question to think about your career almost a year ago…

But first, let me tell you a story.

My college choices

I studied in a program called Michael Polanyi College. It’s a liberal arts program where you design your education. I’m its biggest fan and ambassador. If you know me, I’ve probably told you about it at some point.

One of the reasons I picked this program was that by the time I entered college, I had no idea what I wanted to do.

I wanted to be a makeup artist, and a dancer, and a queer activist, and a poet, and an entrepreneur, and, and… the list went on.

This program allowed me to do a little bit of everything until I settled on one.

Eventually, I settled on dance.

I had a BLAST studying dance and dance education in college. Rehearsals were my college classes, showcases were my finals, it was great.

I was sure I’d made the right choice: I picked something I loved, and I started teaching dance before I had even graduated.

And then, reality hit.

I picked something I loved, sure.

I also picked something that directly required me to trade time for money on a fixed schedule, and something that isn’t exactly going to make me a millionaire. At first, I was happy with it. Teaching dance is very fun.

But a couple of months later, I was having a conversation with my friends who graduated with me, and I realized they were making ten times as much money as me in their jobs.

What had I done?

I started questioning everything:

Why did I pick a career that was so hard for me? (because honestly, it was tough for me to become a dancer)

Why did I attach myself to a schedule like that?

Why did I choose something that doesn’t even make me enough money to move out of my mom’s house?

It was only then that I realized the mistake I’d made in asking myself what I wanted to DO with my life, and started seeking a new question.

The right question to ask

As I was starting to reroute my career plans, I did a lot of introspection.

A lot of journaling, a lot of recording myself talking, and a lot of reading and researching.

And one day, it hit me.

The question you need to ask isn’t what you wanna DO. If you ask yourself that, you end up like me: doing something you, in theory, love. And at the same time, feeling frustration at all it implies to your time, freedom, and finances.

There is another question that actually sets you up to go down the right path.

One that may imply short-term discomfort, but assure long-term fulfillment.

Well, I think I’ve kept you in the dark for long enough.

This question is

WHAT DO I WANT MY LIFE TO LOOK LIKE?

Do you see the HUGE difference?

The first question asks about your career. And it expects every other part of your life to “adjust” to fit that career.

The second question asks about your entire life. And it expects your career to fit inside everything else you want to do. (Which, btw, is more important than any job or career.)

It’s the difference between living to work and working to live.

And it starts with this question, in this choice.

How to answer this question

Now, it’s taken me a long time to adjust to what I want my life to look like. I’ve asked many times and gotten different answers on different occasions.

But after almost a year of starting this quest, I’ve realized there are different components that you need to figure out. Different areas of your life need you to choose. These are some you MUST include:

• What income would you be comfortable with?

• Do you wanna travel a lot, or settle down somewhere?

• Do you wanna have a fixed schedule, or do you want time freedom?

• Do you want to have a family? How much time a day do you want to be available for your family?

• Do you want a routine, or to have different adventures every day?

• Do you wanna work solo, or with a team?

• Do you want to have a boss, or not?

• How many hours do you want to work per day?

• Do you want to deal with customers directly, or not?

• What do you love doing? Would you like to do it as a job?

• Do you want your job to be something you love, or are you fine with something that just pays the bills and leaves you enough time to enjoy the rest of your life?

There is no right or wrong answer to any of these. But it does require you to be radically honest with yourself.

For example, maybe you don’t wanna earn more than you need, and you want a slow-paced life where you can settle down in a place you like. Maybe working at a small coffee shop where you know all the customers is right for you.

Maybe you wanna make enough money, but you don’t care about working at something you don’t enjoy as long as you get free time outside of it. Then maybe a call center is right for you.

Maybe you wanna be a digital nomad, and you want to make good money, so you know you need to learn some high-income skills you can offer online.

If there are 8 billion people in the world, there are 8 billion possible answers to all of this.

After asking

After many, many journaling sessions, I can summarize what I want:

I want a life in which I can always say yes to adventures, whether the adventure is having breakfast with my dad on a Wednesday morning or flying to a different country. I want to make enough money to have no financial concerns. And I want to work no more than 6 hours a day. By the time I start my family, I want to have a schedule that lets me be available for my kids’ school events, sick days, and play dates. I want to have no fixed schedule or routine. I want my work to depend mainly on myself, but always be open to collaboration. I want to work in stuff that helps me build connections with other humans. I want to teach. I don’t want to have a job, because I don’t want to have a boss.

So this means I need to find a source of income I enjoy, that I can do anywhere, and that has no fixed schedule. When I realized this, a part of me said “this can’t be that hard!”

And that’s what I’ve been working on for almost a year: creating sources of income that will allow for all of that.

Now, I’m still teaching dance, because I really enjoy it. But I see it as a temporary job. Not a Career with capital C.

At the same time I teach dance, I’m doing coaching, I’m doing copywriting, I’m publishing my book, I’m planning events. And I’m having a great time.

Now, I’m doing things that have both the earning capacity and flexibility that I want in my life. And it’s great. I wish I could explain this to everyone. But at least I can explain it to the lovely 50 people who read my newsletter every week.

So this is what I wanna leave you with:

Design your life or get assigned one

Here’s the thing: you have two options.

You can go through the questions above, find what fits the life you want, and do whatever it takes to get it.

Or you can pick what to do instead of how to live, follow the traditional path, and end up frustrated like most adults sadly are.

Most people reading this are pretty young.

So I want to tell you something:

This is the perfect time to ask yourself this, it’s the perfect time to dream about the life you want and figure out a way to get it.

We live in a world of ample possibilities. You can create a career with every characteristic you want. And get the life you want.

But you won’t find it unless you ask yourself the right questions.

I hope the rest of your week feels like making the right choice, like feeling that strong YES inside you.

Until next Wednesday!

-Vale, The Friendly Artist.