Hey y’all. So today is Thursday, and not Wednesday.

I was working on a really cool edition of the newsletter for this week. But I underestimated how long it would take to write - especially because it’s about something I’m still figuring out for myself. So instead of letting that result in me skipping the week, I decided to write something else.

Here are three life-changing lessons I’ve learned in the past week:

1. Relationships are like plants

I cracked the code on relationships this week. Or at least, that’s what it felt like.

When I shared it with partner, they said “yeah, that makes sense. We’re just plants then.”

I figured out there is a cycle that happens over and over in relationships: a cycle of giving and receiving, which creates not only balance, but growth. It looks something like this:

Since both people are getting something from the relationship (a.k.a their needs are met) they can then go on to fulfill the other’s needs.

But, what happens when a relationship starts breaking down?

This:

A relationship, romantic or otherwise, starts suffering when one of the two people stops giving: then, the other can’t get. And since they don’t feel as good (a.k.a. their needs don’t feel fulfilled) they have no energy to focus on the other’s needs. So then, the other person doesn’t receive anything (or receives less) and they have even less to give.

If this cycle continues, it leads to the inevitable end of the relationship. To avoid getting to that point, a simple solution needs to happen:

One of the two people needs to step up, fill their own needs, and then give to the other person. Now, this isn’t a universal guarantee, but odds are that then the other will feel much more comfortable with giving.

And then, the positive cycle can start again.

So what does this have to do with plants? Well, when growing a plant that can give you food, you have to feed it first: give it water, sunlight, fertilizer, etcetera. And then, eventually, it will grow something that can feed you. If you then feed it again, it will feed you again.

And so on and so forth.

Conclusion: care for your relationships like you care for your plants, and you’ll receive every day of your life.

2. The glass is filling, just wait and keep pouring

I learned this one in tap class. My teacher explained it like this:

“Often, when we’re learning a new step, we get frustrated when we’re practicing, because it feels like we’re making no progress on it.

It feels like you’ve been repeating the same step for hours, and it still looks terrible.

But imagine it like this: you have a glass of water. And if the glass is full, it means you’ve mastered the step.

Every rep is a drop of water. Every time you practice, you are filling that cup, drop by drop. You’re frustrated, because you’re seeing the glass isn’t full yet. And so you become blind to the fact that you’re filling it, with every rep that feels wrong.

You're making progress, even if it doesn’t seem like it. You’re filling that glass up, drop by drop. And eventually, if you keep at it, the glass will fill up, and the step will be mastered”

Needless to say, this doesn’t just apply to tap dancing, but to learning any new skill.

3. Problems make you better

Now, here’s the thing: problems will always be a part of life. An inescapable occurrence that we can either be knocked down by, or fight.

I have thought a lot about problems and obstacles lately, because I faced a pretty big one last week in my copywriting career. I’ll spare you the details, but what happened left me feeling frustrated and defeated.

I texted my mentor, who told me it was absolutely normal to feel defeated, but that it couldn’t knock me down for long. And then, he said something that I need to share with you:

"Every defeat leaves you a little more dangerous when you get back to work." -Tom Meitner

I realized something important in that moment: problems will not just always be there, but they can make you better and stronger than you were.

Having solved a problem means you’re better equipped to face it if it shows up again.

And in the end, life will never get to a point where you experience no problems anymore. But the point is to solve better quality problems each time.

I hope you enjoyed this late and short edition of the newsletter. Promise I’ll be back next Wednesday with a longer and on-time edition.

Until then, I hope your week feels like that first moment when the sea touches your feet, like sleeping 9 hours after weeks of sleeping 6 or less, like making a new friend.

See ya!

-Vale, The Friendly Artist