15 simple rules for life

One year ago, I made a zine to gift to all my college friends on my last week as a senior. In it, I shared the 15 rules I based my life on at the time. Today, I want to share it with you.

Nowadays, some of them have evolved, and some others have been added. But these are still beliefs I use as a guiding light.

Let's dive in!

The first page was this: me from when I started college talking to me when I was ending college.

Here, I'm reflecting on how confusing a path like this is when we're starting it, and how clear the path becomes once you start walking. It reveals itself further with every step you take. And if you keep on your way, you will eventually reach your destination.

Now, for the rules:

This is making friends 101.

Most people in the world are strangers to you. But just by sparking up a conversation, introducing yourself, and asking questions, strangers turn to friends. This rule is how I've built a wonderful network of creative and kind people around me.

If you're lost on how to make friends, just talk to strangers.

This rule is the one you want to live by if you're trying to build a creative career.

Most of us grew up seeing our art as a hobby. And it's perfectly okay if you want to keep it as a hobby. But if you want to make it a career, you need to treat it as seriously as a career: give yourself goals, schedules, make it as important as it really is to you.

Every successful creative project I've developed has been made possible by treating it like important work.

I learned this lesson from Austin Kleon's book Steal Like An Artist. (his books are pretty much my creative bible).

There is nothing new under the sun. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't create anything. It just means you should explore new ways of combining pre-existing ideas. Everything has already been said, but not by you.

Go create. Go say things with your voice. Creativity is just making the old seem new again.

This is a lesson in three parts.

The first, I learned from my therapist: all emotions are temporary. It's good to feel them, and then let them go.

The second, I learned from one of my mentors. Emotions are great sources of inspiration for art. But they are terrible for decision making. Use your mind for that.

The third, is that recognizing how temporary they are makes you treasure the good times more, and it also makes the bad times more bearable. They will end anyway.

Commitment and discipline are not the same things.

Discipline says "I have to do this because I said so." Commitment says "I want to do this because it is important to me."

Discipline says "no matter rain or shine, I'll get it done today." Commitment says "this is important to me, so I will find ways to make it sustainable, even if that means taking a day off so I can keep going tomorrow."

Think for a moment: which one is more fulfilling? Which one is more sustainable? Commitment will beat discipline every time.

This is a lesson I learned when I was 17 when I heard my friend Sofi say that her mom had taught her to substitute "I can't" with "I'm having a hard time with..."

Later on, I learned this is supported by Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

Saying "I can't" automatically blocks your mind and body from trying. It teaches every part of you to be limited. "I'm having a hard time with..." still recognizes the struggle, but it prioritizes the effort to find a solution.

If something catches your interest, go explore it.

Best case scenario, you find a new passion. Worst case scenario, you learn something about yourself. This is how you create a life with no unfulfilled dreams.

You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

I'm a huge documentation fan.

For memory, for creativity, for introspection: it has infinite benefits.

It's a great way to keep the special moments in your life with you once they have passed. It helps you use your life as a creative resource. And it teaches you a lot about yourself and about what you value enough to document.

There are many ways to document your life. Choose one that works for you, and commit to documenting as many experiences as you can.

Simple: if there's something you wish existed, and you can't find it, create it.

This applies to books, products, songs, businesses, movies, etcetera. Odds are if you need it, many other people do too. And you can be the one to make it for them!

This is how my book came to be: I couldn't find one that truly expressed how I felt. So I wrote it. And now, I'll get to share it with others.

Spite is the desire to prove someone wrong.

When people tell you something is impossible, and it makes you furious, use that. Prove them wrong. Make it possible. Make yourself proud.

Anger and spite are great motivators, if we channel them in a positive direction.

We are tiny humans floating on a rock in space.

We will all be forgotten eventually. There is no reason not to go all out while we're here. People may laugh at you for creating a YouTube channel. Well, so what? Their thoughts about you don't matter one bit when you look at the big picture.

Remember how tiny and temporary you are. Don't take yourself so seriously and have some fun!

I'm a big fan of wearing your heart on your sleeve.

As an artist and overall sensitive person, it's my way of navigating the world. I've found it's the best way to connect with others: show who you are deep inside. However, time has also taught me to be more selective with who gets that side of me.

Be honest. Be vulnerable. But don't do it with people who don't respect or appreciate it.

When you're at the beginning of the road, and you have a desired destination, it can be overwhelming to find the entire path you need to follow.

Purpose is what helps you bear through that confusion and to the other side. As long as you know where you're going, and you have a strong enough why, you'll get there.

The path reveals itself as it is traveled. Just start.

This is mostly a writing tip.

Tech gives us amazing tools to create. But for maximum creativity, connection, and memory, use your hands. Pen and paper are your friends. Science has proven that the neurological connections that we create are significantly stronger when we write by hand.

You don't have to do everything by hand, but if you're currently doing it all digitally, try to balance a little bit of both.

The last rule is a quote from Twyla Tharp's The Creative Habit, another one of my creative bibles.

You can edit first drafts, you can't edit ideas in your mind. You can iterate on prototypes that exist, not on dreams of creating one.

It's better to create than to dream about creating.

And so, we have reached the end of this week's edition.

I hope you enjoyed these rules, and that they serve you as they have served me. These principles have allowed me to create a life I love, in which I can create art while being surrounded by lovely people. They're a good place to start.

Art Recs

Since I already recommended two books above, I'll stick to just one recommendation this week.

Movie: Sing Street

If you're an artist and you feel in any way constrained by your circumstances (family, city, school, etcetera), this is a must-watch.

It's an endearing movie about the process of becoming an artist. It's also my favorite coming-of-age movie. The soundtrack is amazing as well.

I hope the rest of your week feels like hearing new music from your favorite artist, like taking your first nap in months, like feeling your creativity come back after months of creative block.

See you next Wednesday!

-Vale, The Friendly Artist.